Adult Children and their Parents

Adult Children and their Parents

Problems with families primarily happen because family members get stuck transitioning between developmental stages. As young adults, we want so badly for our parents to see us in the current developmental stage we're in, but our desire to prove to our parents that we're capable of adulting keeps us stuck in ongoing negative interactions.

South Shore Family is launching the Boston Center for Relationship Education this summer, where we provide workshops around building healthier relationships. Check out "After You've Left the Roost: How to Improve Communication Between Parents and Adult Children" on July 19

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LGBTQ Families and Holidays

LGBTQ Families and Holidays

Same-sex couples often experience a uniquely complicated process with their families of origin. This begins with coming out and identifying as an LGBTQ person, and we recognize that many people will be spending their first holidays with their families either as an LGBTQ-identified person or in a new LGBTQ relationship. This article provides some tips for coming out to your family of origin.

Once family members begin to identify and work through their emotional experience, it generally becomes easier to figure out how to do the relationship moving forward, which may include the establishment of clear boundaries, particularly if parents are stuck in anger and criticism. Establishing boundaries with families can be challenging for long-term same-sex relationships as well. We provide tips for same-sex couples in which there's a continual need for establishing boundaries with families of origin.

 

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Families and Holidays

Families and Holidays

A couple relationship can be a venue for setting a boundary with your family of origin. In Episode 8 of Under the Covers, Stephanie Wallace and Jeremiah Gibson provide some tips for people seeking to celebrate the holidays with families while maintaining their adultness. They also talk about ways to establish new rituals for each stage of your relationship, rituals that may or may not involve other family members.

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Secrets and Sexual Abuse

Secrets and Sexual Abuse

The situation with the Catholic Church reminds us of the damaging ways that systems (macro, such as religious institutions, or micro, such as families) prevent survivors from seeking healing when they choose to protect perpetrators (and the system itself) from embarrassment, salvage the status quo by keeping secrets, and create fear through threats of retribution for breaking said secrets.

Victims of childhood (or any other kind of) sexual abuse can only begin to heal when their story is acknowledged, when they no longer feel burdened by carrying the secret.

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Family Therapy and Sexuality

Family Therapy and Sexuality

We are dedicated to providing quality sex education to families of adolescents and young adults in the greater Boston area. There's a really good chance that should you send your adolescent or family to SSFHC, our therapists will be exploring the role of sexuality and relationships in your teenager's and family's development.

But what does that mean? What are our goals, and what does success look like?

We recognize that talking about sexuality with your teenagers may be challenging, but we hope to discuss some, if not all, of the following topics:

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Taboo and the Theory of Voldemort

Taboo and the Theory of Voldemort

We all have antagonists in our stories. Naysayers. The other woman (or man). Perpetrators of abuse.

We notice that these antagonists very seldom have names; rather, they’re referred to as “him”, “her”, “that woman/man”, “the babysitter” (or other qualifying descriptor). I ask clients the names of these antagonistic characters, and often face resistance to get an actual name.

Which leads us to the Theory of Voldemort:

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Arguing in Front of Your Kids

Arguing in Front of Your Kids

Think of the last argument that you had with your partner.

If you have children, where were they during your dispute? Did you turn them away? Did you notice them joining the fray at any point? Did you even notice them?

Our couples therapists can help you and your partner develop more effective ways of handling conflict–respectful, organized methods that leave you feeling more refreshed and valued and your children less anxious and more secure.

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Parentified Parenting

Parentified Parenting

Some of us learn about parenting long before we become adults.

Perhaps your own parent turned to you for refuge from severe anxiety or depression. A substance use problem. A high conflict relationship.

They confided in you. They brought you into their combative relationship. They expected you to hold off on soccer practice or a birthday party so you could watch your younger siblings because they were unable to. They stood back as you disciplined your siblings for them.

Parentification has a significant impact on how you parent your own children.

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